Contentment-Core

Contentment Core is the one where you’re happy with what you’ve got.

I am sure you have heard of all kinds of “core” online. You’ve likely seen all sorts of aesthetics on Pinterest and Instagram. Cottagecore, dark academia core, Barbiecore, Fairycore…and so on. Everything has a name, an aesthetic…a brand. I have a brand I think you should consider.

I submit to you

Contentment Core

Contentment Core is the one where you’re happy with what you’ve got. You’re using what you have. You’re wearing out your stuff before you go buy new stuff. You’re a conscientious consumer because you know people are more important than profits and humans are more than just a means to an end.

Learning to be content can be challenging for anyone but it becomes particularly challenging when you are living in a very commercialized culture. Feelings of discontentment can be compounded by the constant inundation of ads on social media, texts and emails. I am not opposed to creators sharing things they really enjoy. We all have to purchase some things after all. If you can make money doing and sharing things you love I say go for it. I share what I love. But can we agree it has gone too far?The over-buying, comparison, and perhaps being out of touch with the way a great deal of the world lives. Its a bit extra as the youths say.

We lived in San Jose, Costa Rica for a year and it was great for us. I’ve always been thrifty but that year tested us. Looooong story that I won’t deep dive into here but there were some miscommunications between the language school that we were attending and quite a few students. And several of us showed up having been given cost of living data that was nearly a decade out of date. We were missionaries and we thought we had enough money to live relatively comfortably knowing we were there temporarily and did not need a lot of things. Our rental house was fully furnished, we had relatively fixed expenses but the budget was tiiiiight. Tight, my friend. There was no “going shopping”, no fun money, we learned to eat dark meat chicken, that’s right dear reader-bone in chicken! It’s all what we could afford. Ironically, it’s primarily what we eat now. Have you ever cried over raw chicken meat before? I have. When the brand new chicken I purchased from Ye Olde Walmart was rancid. Anyway…. We said goodbye to cheese. There isn’t large scale dairy in CR the way there is here in the states. Cheese and milk were luxuries we could no longer afford. Cheese was out, arroz y frijoles were in. Rice and beans, that is. Also fresh produce.

Another thing that was one of the biggest blessings of my life was our sweet house keeper. Now you may be thinking: you couldn’t afford cheese but you could afford a maid?! Well, yes. Kind of. In a lot of the developing world, services are very affordable but goods are expensive, especially if they are scarce or have been imported. Additionally, expectations are different in different cultures. I may have thought we were hella broke, and we were according to our experience. But I was not impoverished by any standard in latin America. (This is the part of the story where I got a grip, ya know?) I had never known true poverty, and though I was on the brink of it in my American mind, to my sweet friend we were very wealthy. I learned so much from her. Including but not limited to how to cook with what I had. Walmart was not going to be my best friend anymore, although we had a Walmart I stopped shopping there for the most part. She taught me what to buy and how to negotiate and what was a reasonable price and how to stand firm in my very beginner Spanish. She also taught me how to cook with what I had. With what I had. Buckle up, that’s going to be a theme of this entire blog.

We were studying Spanish to work at a sustainable farm and camp in Nicaragua. Our plans got rerouted in 2020 because of the-virus-that-shall-not-be-named and we are back in Ohio. Still learning Spanish, still learning sustainability, still raising a little bit of food on my little tiny yard. Raising chickens at my parent’s home and a cow at my husband’s office. Yes you heard that right- long story that I won’t tell here.

The most important lesson from our time in Costa Rica is that I now know I can do hard things. And that my financial plight, though it might be truly difficult and stressful, mostly just required putting on my big girl undies. I know that sounds ridiculous since living in Costa Rica is like, a dream location. And it was, and it was still hella hard. I was listening to a podcast by Dr. Gabrielle Lyon and Rich Diviney and if I am recalling this right, Rich Diviney says that peak learning happens when novelty (something new) and significant challenge collide. For us that was learning Spanish in a foreign country while being on the verge of financial ruin. You just do the thing, ya know? Sometimes it isn’t glamorous. In our case, we had the experience of a lifetime and I think, honestly, being broke really helped fast track some lessons that a lot of Americans never get to learn. Was I happy about them then? Not particularly. Just kidding, not at all. Am I happy I went through them. Yes. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be the scrappy cook and frugal mom that I am today.

Here’s the wee bit heavier part. I have also lived discontentment that is not financial and I am sure you have to. And let us be honest with ourselves. Trauma is the word I mean, not “discontentment”. My world fell apart when our little baby boy named Brooks Adler came months too soon. We thought we would bring him home in June but he was born into heaven at the end of January almost 10 years ago. I will not tell you I weathered that season with lots of grace. I cannot remember most of it. My health fell apart in the aftermath of all my body had endured during labor, and my mind in the post partum. Then we waited, almost a decade to the day, for another little one. I can not say I have always done contentment well. I have stomped my foot at the Almighty. I have found solidarity with Job. The aching of this life are more than we can bare alone sometimes. So I do not want to brush contentment off as just-stop buying too many shoes off Amazon. It’s more than that. (But it might also be that.)

My attitude changed when I started being honest about it. I started asking God, not just for financial margin, but to change my attitude about all the things. The being broke, family building, the busted farm dreams thanks to covid and all the things. I wish contentment was easier, unfortunately getting it usually means you go through a season, or seasons, of not having what you desperately want.

I do not have a farm yet, though it is my heart’s desire. However, I do have contentment most of the time and tenacity. We have the sweetest little baby that I would wait forever for. I have my faith and family, and enough Spanish to help people from time to time when I get to. I have the ability to learn, and try try again. And I have this little dream that just wont die. Jessica Sowards says to “Turn Your Waiting Room into a Classroom” and that has been such an encouragement to me. Don’t sit idly by, your dreams aren’t going to come true sitting on your hands. Use what you’ve got, do what you can.

I do not have a prescription for contentment but if I did it would include: reading your Bible, praying, talking to your spouse/therapist/friend, some heavy lifting and walking outside. Bonus points if you can garden something even if its just a few flowers. There is something valuable in tending to something from seed to harvest. It takes time and patience and perseverance and sometimes trying again. Much like cultivating contentment, I suppose.

Big things coming next week. Check back and if you haven’t already, please subscribe to my newsletter.

Newsletter is a strong word, more like a postcard.

Until next time friends,

Lauren